Navigating Bullying and Cyberbullying

What is Childhood Bullying?

Childhood bullying is a serious health and safety issue, and is not “kids just being kids.” The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) defines bullying as behavior that:

• Is unwanted and aggressive

• Involves a real or perceived power imbalance

• Repeats or is likely to repeat

Bullying often happens at school, but it can also take place on the bus or playground, in your child’s neighborhood or online. Both children who bully and are bullied are more likely to face long-term problems. Examples include an increased risk of substance use, anxiety and depression, and dropping out of school. That’s why it’s vital to recognize and address bullying as soon as possible.

Types of Bullying

As a parent or caregiver, knowing what bullying can look like helps you spot it early and support your child. Here is a simple guide to the four main types, with examples to help you recognize each one.

Signs My Child is Being Bullied

Tony Yaghmour, MD, a pediatrician at Children’s Nebraska, says parents should look for these signs of bullying in kids:

• Cuts or bruises

• Fear of going to school or other activities

• Few friends, if any

• Frequent headaches, stomachaches or loss of appetite

• Loss of interest in school or doing poorly in school

• Low self-esteem

• Stolen or damaged belongings

How to Respond to Bullying

If you think your child is being bullied it is important to respond. Trusted adults play the most crucial role in preventing and stopping bullying.

Talk to Your Child About Bullying

Even if your child isn’t being bullied, they may be a bystander to others getting bullied. It helps to start the conversation about bullying early, and approach the topic in a subtle way to get a better response. Ask questions like:

• How’s school?

• What do you think of the children in your class?

• Does anyone at school get picked on or bullied?

• What’s it like at lunch or recess?

• Has anyone been texting you or posting mean things on social media?

Try not to overreact to your child’s responses, especially if they admit to being bullied. Stress that bullying is not your child’s fault. During open conversations, your love and encouragement can help build trust. That way, your child is more likely to come to you when they have a problem or concern.

Teach Your Child Techniques to Address Bullying

You can’t always prevent bullying, but you can help your child navigate troubling situations. By building skills that protect them long-term, you can help your child cope in healthy ways. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends the “Stop-Walk-Talk” approach:

Stop: Tell the person bullying to stop in a firm voice. Practice looking them in the eye and saying, “I don’t like what you’re doing.” Or “Please don’t talk to me like that.”

Walk: Stay calm as you walk away from the situation. Don’t fight back.

Talk: Ask an adult you trust for help.

Share Concerns with Others

When you have concerns about bullying, share them with teachers, school counselors or the administration. Most bullying happens when adults aren’t around. By making adults aware, they can increase supervision. They may update or revise the school bullying policy or start anti-bullying programs.

Your child also may benefit from talking to a therapist.

What to Do if My Child is Bullying Others

If your child is bullying others, take it seriously. Children who bully others often need support and intervention, and some may also be having trouble with peer relationships or experiencing bullying themselves. When bullying behavior continues, it can affect relationships, school and emotional wellbeing. These steps can help:

1. Talk to your child about bullying. Explain what it is and why it hurts others. Be clear it’s never okay to bully.

2. Set clear rules and consequences, so your child knows what to expect if they bully. Follow through with nonphysical discipline when needed.

3. Try to watch your child and help them find activities they like so they keep busy. Also, limit how much time they spend online and monitor any online activity.

4. If you’re struggling with your child’s behavior, get professional help. Teachers, therapists, counselors and your child’s pediatrician can offer resources.

When to Seek Help for Bullying

Bullying prevention is a shared community effort, and you don't have to face it alone. It's never too early to reach out for help, so trust your instincts if something feels off. Talking to a pediatrician or behavioral health provider can make a real difference for your child.

Consider reaching out if bullying seems to affect your child's emotional, physical or social wellbeing, especially if you notice:

• Ongoing sadness, worry or irritability

• Trouble sleeping or eating

• Frequent headaches or stomachaches

• Avoiding school or activities

• Sudden drop in grades

• Social withdrawal

• Talk of self-harm or hopelessness

Children’s Nebraska, our pediatricians support you and your child as they grow. From Primary Care, to Behavioral Health — our comprehensive pediatric care is here to protect your child’s physical and emotional wellbeing.