Talking to your teenager about anything beyond what’s for dinner or their weekend plans might feel like pulling teeth. From one-word responses to disinterested tones, plenty of parents feel as though their teens aren’t exactly open books. When it comes to more serious topics, such as body image and weight conversations, it can be even more challenging.
Still, the topic of weight is likely to come up in one way or another. This is because weight and body image are significant parts of our society. While it’s important to avoid telling your teen to lose weight, there are times when you’ll need to respond to a situation that involves their weight or someone else’s.
Here are 3 situations in which you might need to have a conversation about weight — and how to navigate them.
1. Your teen asks about their weight.
If your teen asks about their weight directly, they’re placing trust in how you’ll respond. As a result, it’s important not to avoid their questions and to approach these conversations with honesty and facts.
Your teen might ask about their weight in a number of ways. For example, their health class might be discussing body mass index (BMI), leaving them with questions about theirs. They may even ask something like “Am I fat?” or “Am I too skinny?” You might tell them about BMI, including that it’s one way to measure their health alongside other things like listening to their heart and tracking their height. If their BMI is on the higher end, it means they have extra weight, which can make it so their body has to work harder.
Together, you can discuss ways to stay healthy by focusing on the importance of staying active, eating healthier foods, and limiting sweets. Remind them that staying healthy is also about how their body feels. Extra weight might make them feel tired or sluggish while eating healthy and staying active can help them feel more energetic.
2. Your teen is being bullied about their weight.
Weight is a common reason for teasing and bullying. If your teen is being teased for their weight, it’s important to take it seriously. Bullying can lead to depression, anxiety, loneliness, and lowered academic success, and it can lead to problems in adulthood.
Don’t immediately jump to conversations about how to lose weight if your teen tells you they’re being teased about their weight. Instead, tell them you’re glad they came to you, and ask them how they’re feeling about the situation. Be sure to actively listen while expressing support. Consider involving their school to create a game plan on how to address the bullying.
Remind your teen that their weight is not a reflection of who they are. Point out all of their positive qualities that aren’t related to looks, including if they are creative, kind, smart, or funny.
3. Your teen hears comments about weight from other adults.
Talking about people’s weight — even in a positive way — can make it seem acceptable to make judgments about people’s bodies. While you might be conscious of avoiding body talk around your teen, other adults might not. Whether an adult talks about their own body, your teen’s, or someone else’s, these comments can have a lasting impact.
Start by asking your teen how the comments made them feel, and listen to their responses. No matter what their reaction is, remind them that weight is a factor in someone’s health, but it doesn’t make a person who they are.
If your child expresses concerns about their weight, keep the focus on feeling healthy and how your family can prioritize healthy choices, like cooking meals together or going on bike rides. When your family takes on these habits together, your teen is more likely to stick with them long-term.
Keep the Weight Conversations Going
As with any important conversation with your teen, talking to them about weight won’t be a one-time situation. In fact, the more you foster open dialogue about weight and body image, the more opportunities you have to encourage a positive outlook on weight and health in general.
Remind your teen that they are more than the number on the scale and that talking with you and their pediatrician about how they feel is a better way to monitor their health. Together, you can help your teen have a positive relationship with weight now and into adulthood.
If you have questions about how to approach weight conversations with your teenager, reach out to your child’s pediatrician. They can provide talking points and resources and can make a referral to our Weight & Wellness Program if needed.